You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
We had to coat check the pizza.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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