dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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