i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
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