Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
