Your tits are I can't wait for
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize