U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
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