I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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