She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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