Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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