whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
