i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
