I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
