how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize