I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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