I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize