I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
