It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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