i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
