remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
And then my night got REAL pukey
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
