I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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