i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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