i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
