ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
