"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
