Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
