dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
