He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
