I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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