How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
