Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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