Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
