Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
