It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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