first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
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