Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
