I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
