I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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