so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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