Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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