You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
