I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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