No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
