So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Randomize
