let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
