How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
