I cannot find my penis.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
