You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
