sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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