He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
