I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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