i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
