i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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