god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
