im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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