Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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