My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
