Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
