and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
