Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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