Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
