What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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