I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
