is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
