Need sex. Gaining weight.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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